Saturday, February 25
i think that chris from american idol is totally what the competitions all about! woohooooo. he's just that kinda guy who just sets my heart ablaze. [not that i go for bald guys cause HELL NO.] but his voice just serenades my soul. i think i have this thing for rockers. heh. Rock&Roll baby!!! just finished this great book i read. it's called the pact by jodi picoult pronounced picou.awhh amazing book. loved her use of language. and well, the book was rather suggestive yet appropriate. to suicide.been thinking alot lately. what if life's just not meant to be. what if one day i wake up and the grass just refuses to grow, would it mean that its possible for me to refuse living. does it mean that just cause things aren't on my side would it make perfect, eligible sense to just stop. just cause i havent initially made sense of it all would it mean i should just give up. would it matter to me as much as i want it to. would death be the solution to this ordeal of an experiment. dedicated to life i mean.cause it didonce.not anymore.but should it?contradictory masquerade. is this what i should live for?should i waste the gift of life? the meaning of it? ya think?i've come to realise that in the equation of a healthy and happy life, having the right attitude is always a constant. just cause the sun isn't shining on my side dosent mean i shouldnt look forward to crossing over. i think about this all the time. i really want to do well for my Os. thats all thats on my mind. forget suicide, lifes apparently worth living for. and i gotta say, that i 'want it so bad to work for it'.i wouldn't want to die before fulfilling all my dreams.
so God help me.
din
