How do I tell you?
That I'm broken beyond recognition-
that your recognition is unwarranted.





My yesterday.




I believe my need for you transcends mere desperation.
That I want to have you; that I can't have you.
And I tell myself, if it isn't more than this, then it shouldn't be at all.
It should feel as if I'm lost without you.
It should feel hard to breathe because I'm without you.
And it does.


And I can't escape the same judgement, the finger is pointed
"I am the same same kind of idiot."




Saying out loud. Alcohol loosens my jaw.
I'm caught in between your smile.
And I get mad.
But the best part about being mad at people you love
is that they'll love you no matter what.
And it's always okay.


If only you knew.
Rejoice, there is only euphoria.
In the joyous hysteria that follows
you forget grief or sorrow and embrace only happiness.


It only serves to embolden the heart.
And this is how I feel about you.
You levitate slightly when you walk.
And you glow from within, quietly growing.






Christmas is in two days! It's a kablankhaly awesome feeling if you ask me. Heh. "HoHoHo."

& really, I don't believe my posts are depressing cause I couldn't be happier. My attempts of desperation are merely to crumble every dark thought into cyberspace. To me, that couldn't make more sense.



PA-RUM-PA-PA-PUM-PUM.
All I want for Christmas is you.

Should I play for you?
On my drum?
Me and my drum.